Another early evening, but to tell the thruth, I'm completely tuckered out. We started our day at 9 taking the shuttle down to the capital so that we could go to the supreme courthouse. It's a fantastic building! Hold on, the Phillies are about to win the World Series... Ole! I can just imagine Philidelphia, people must be going nuts there!
Back to the supreme court... it was really interesting to be back there. It was just as I remembered it, except smaller. I suppose when you're young everything looks big, which was the case with this room. After the supreme court we went to the Washington Memorial. It's just what you think... you go up... you go down. Not much more than that. It's more interesting on the outside than on the inside. Then we strolled down to the WWII memorial, Korean Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, and Vietnam Memorial. The World War 2 memorial is the newest, it wasn't dedicated until 1997. Why so late? I have no idea, kinda odd. They rushed with all the others but didn't seem too hurried with the WWII memorial.
The Korean Memorial is by far my favorite of them all. When I saw it for the first time in 1998, it impressed me, and it still does today. If you don't know know what it looks like, or to refresh your memory, it's a triangle of brush with soldiers walking through it. Behind it are etched in black marble various faces of people who died during the war. Just looking at it you feel as if you could perhaps experience what it must have been like for them to be moving through the brush in Korea, pushing forward, not knowing what was lurking ahead.
The Lincoln Memorial is everything you think it should be. It's a dedication to a great leader who changed not only the way people lived, but how people were percieved. On the wall inside the gettysberg adress is carved into the wall. Even though it's one of the shortest addresses, it's one of the most powerful, moving and well known. "Four Score and twenty years ago..." It's some of speechwriting at it's best.
The Vietnam Memorial is the most well known though. Here in the States there isn't anyone who doesn't know someone who is on that wall. School kids who visit are given a name and location to look for it, and in flocks it becomes like some sort of find-the-name-game. On the wall there is one NFL (National Football League) player. When he got called the team wanted to give him an injury so that he wouldn't have to go, but he refused and was sent to Vietnam. His wife meanwhile asked to get sent to Hawaii to work as a nurse, because that was where the military was moving from. 7 months later he recieved leave and went to Hawaii to spend time with his very pregnant wife and a month later he returned to duty. Two weeks later he was killed by a morter and a week later his wife gave birth to his son. Hours later she heard of his death. As interesting as the story is, you're probably wondering how I know that. I know a lot of things. I'm pretty brilliant, ;p but in this case, one of the men who served under him told me today. He'd come to DC for a veterans convension and stood there just looking at the names. At one point I was standing next to him reading the names when he looked over at me and asked me if I knew of anyone on the wall. When I said I didn't he said: "Let me tell you about one." And so I heard of Eugine R. Cavory. I've never seen someone so lost and proud at the same time. So if you're ever in DC... He's on section 16, line 25.
After icking up a sandwich, we hopped on the bus to Arlington. I would have loved to get off and look around, but we were a little pressed for time. We stayed on the bus until we got to the National Archives. Here I was able to really observe both the original Declairation of Independence and the Constitution. The declaration isn't readable anymore, but there was a copy next to it. It's really too bad we don't use this kind of language anymore. It's art pure and simple. It's courteous and beautiful, not to mention tasteful. It's like Sam says: "never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy and 'Your highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please.'" (West wing). There really isn't anything as famous which is as powerful here.
Walking out of the National Library we walked right to Heather. Heather and I went to school together in Moscow. She was a year younger, but we got really close in my last year. Stephan went to walk around and see DC at night, and Heather and I went to dinner at the cheesecake factory. Yum. Heaven on earth. If Heaven contains chocolate, cheesecake, and the inability to get fat, then I'd be a happy camper. If you like my cheesecake, then you'll love it here. I love it here. We laughed and talked, catching up on everything. Then we stopped at Starbucks so that I could ge my DC mug. Then Heather drove me back to the hotel. It took 45 minutes and we got lost twice, but we made it.
And now to pack my bag. Tommorrow morning we've got to get the shuttle at 7.30 so that we'll be at union station for the train at 8.30. It's a 10 hour trip to Boston.
I'll just have to come back to DC again... I still haven't seen the FBI building!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
DC
So, I'm sitting here in my new hotel room, in a different hotel in a much if not safer part of town, then definately in town (instead of the boonies!). As I mentioned yesterday the waterline in front of our hotel burst, and as a result we had no water when we checked in. Or last night. Or this morning. By 11 o'clock the fact that the toilet couldn't flush and we couldn't take a shower was getting to us, so I went to the front desk. A pleasant conversation with the GM resulted in them telling me that they didn't know if it would be fixed today and that they would send us to another hotel. One even further away from the city. So, we decided to check out of the Comfort Inn (We didn't have to pay for our night there) and check into the Best Western Capitol View. Wanna know how great this place is? Not only does it have running water, and a metro 2 stops away, it's safer, and sitting here at the desk I look out the window and actually see teh Capitol Building. It's a beautiful piece of architecture, and all lit up it does give the feeling of control and leadership.
Anyway, back to this afternoon. After moving hotels we wento to Union Station to find a sightseeing bus company, and landed getting the famous hop-on-hop-off double decker bus that seems to have taken over much of the world, or at least Europe. It's the one Loes and I took in London, and the ones that seem to be getting in the way of everything in Amsterdam. The one stop we got off at today (w have a 2 day ticket) was Capitol Hill, where we first got a tour of the capital building. First you go through a check by the Capitol Police and then you're given a headset. Now, I thought, like you all must be thinking... capitol hill, headset? Couldn't they make it a little more interesting than those stupid prerecorded visits?... but instead the headset was linked to the microphone of the guide, so instead of having to move so that you could hear the person shouting in a big room, you could stay your distance, enjoy your surroundings AND hear the man talk. He takes you to the old senate room, where Senators are still sworn in- a beautiful area mostly in dark brown and bordeau red, it resembles a gentleman's club more than anything else. The old house has been emptied and become a hall of statues, where each state can donate 2. I'd tell you who was in the room, but I myself had no clue who they all were and those that I would have thought were important weren't there. I'd have expected Davy Crockett or something, but no... the unknowns were there. The guide did say that Rosa Parks would be put there on permanent display in a fortnight. Fun Fact: If you whisper on one side of the room you can hear it clearly on the other. Apparently this was most annoying. I can imagine. Say supposing you were sitting on one end and discussing with your neighbour your 'secret plan to fight inflation' and the republican or democrat on the other side heard it.... not so secret anymore.
After the tour we got another ticket to go to the balcony of the House of Representatives. It wasn't in session, we couldn't take any electronic devices, bags, books, notebooks, etc. with us and you had to sit down when you got inside. Evesdropping on a conversation happening behind me I listened as one of the security guards was commenting to another how if Obama won he'd pretty much get to do whatever he wants, because congress is predominantly democratic at the moment. 1/3 is up for reelection, however, most if not all these states are expecting the incumbant to get reelected, which would leave a majority of democrats. The checks and balances system wouldn't actually be active, something that hasn't happened since Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Leaving the capitol building we went to the Library of Congress. Suffice to say they have TONS of books! The actual library is absolutely beautiful. If you've seen National Treasure 2, you'll know what I'm talking about. What you don't get to see in the movie, while Nicholas Cage is running around looking for the President's secret book, is that above all the books there are statues. There are 8 marble statues spread evenly around the base of the dome, each is symbolic and has a pendentive above it. The first is Art, with the pendentive which states: As one lamp lights another, nor grows less, So nobleness enkindleth nobleness. The second is commerce, the third history, followed by law, philosophy, Poetry,religion, and science. Each lady is surrounded on either side by a bronze statue of someone who was renouned in said field. Michelangelo & Beethoven, for example, surround Art. Commerce: Columbus & Fulton, history: Herodotus & Gibbon, Law:Solon & Kent, Philosophy: Plato & Bacon, Poetry: Shakespeare & Homer, Religion: Moses & St. Paul, and Science: Newton & Henry. Fun Fact: James Hadley Billington was sworn in as the Librarian of Congress on September 14, 1987. He is the 13th person to hold the position since the Library was established in 1800. And no, he wasn't a public Library Librarian before this... he was actually head professor of History at Princeton.
At this point it was pretty much 5 o'clock, and because everything was closed or closing, we decided to hop back on the bus and continue on the tour while it was still running. We passed all the highlights and tomorrow we'll finish them. Finishing at Starbucks we took the subway back to the hotel and now i'm admiring the phenomenal view I have from the bedroom.
I'm off to sit in the tub and read a book.
Anyway, back to this afternoon. After moving hotels we wento to Union Station to find a sightseeing bus company, and landed getting the famous hop-on-hop-off double decker bus that seems to have taken over much of the world, or at least Europe. It's the one Loes and I took in London, and the ones that seem to be getting in the way of everything in Amsterdam. The one stop we got off at today (w have a 2 day ticket) was Capitol Hill, where we first got a tour of the capital building. First you go through a check by the Capitol Police and then you're given a headset. Now, I thought, like you all must be thinking... capitol hill, headset? Couldn't they make it a little more interesting than those stupid prerecorded visits?... but instead the headset was linked to the microphone of the guide, so instead of having to move so that you could hear the person shouting in a big room, you could stay your distance, enjoy your surroundings AND hear the man talk. He takes you to the old senate room, where Senators are still sworn in- a beautiful area mostly in dark brown and bordeau red, it resembles a gentleman's club more than anything else. The old house has been emptied and become a hall of statues, where each state can donate 2. I'd tell you who was in the room, but I myself had no clue who they all were and those that I would have thought were important weren't there. I'd have expected Davy Crockett or something, but no... the unknowns were there. The guide did say that Rosa Parks would be put there on permanent display in a fortnight. Fun Fact: If you whisper on one side of the room you can hear it clearly on the other. Apparently this was most annoying. I can imagine. Say supposing you were sitting on one end and discussing with your neighbour your 'secret plan to fight inflation' and the republican or democrat on the other side heard it.... not so secret anymore.
After the tour we got another ticket to go to the balcony of the House of Representatives. It wasn't in session, we couldn't take any electronic devices, bags, books, notebooks, etc. with us and you had to sit down when you got inside. Evesdropping on a conversation happening behind me I listened as one of the security guards was commenting to another how if Obama won he'd pretty much get to do whatever he wants, because congress is predominantly democratic at the moment. 1/3 is up for reelection, however, most if not all these states are expecting the incumbant to get reelected, which would leave a majority of democrats. The checks and balances system wouldn't actually be active, something that hasn't happened since Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Leaving the capitol building we went to the Library of Congress. Suffice to say they have TONS of books! The actual library is absolutely beautiful. If you've seen National Treasure 2, you'll know what I'm talking about. What you don't get to see in the movie, while Nicholas Cage is running around looking for the President's secret book, is that above all the books there are statues. There are 8 marble statues spread evenly around the base of the dome, each is symbolic and has a pendentive above it. The first is Art, with the pendentive which states: As one lamp lights another, nor grows less, So nobleness enkindleth nobleness. The second is commerce, the third history, followed by law, philosophy, Poetry,religion, and science. Each lady is surrounded on either side by a bronze statue of someone who was renouned in said field. Michelangelo & Beethoven, for example, surround Art. Commerce: Columbus & Fulton, history: Herodotus & Gibbon, Law:Solon & Kent, Philosophy: Plato & Bacon, Poetry: Shakespeare & Homer, Religion: Moses & St. Paul, and Science: Newton & Henry. Fun Fact: James Hadley Billington was sworn in as the Librarian of Congress on September 14, 1987. He is the 13th person to hold the position since the Library was established in 1800. And no, he wasn't a public Library Librarian before this... he was actually head professor of History at Princeton.
At this point it was pretty much 5 o'clock, and because everything was closed or closing, we decided to hop back on the bus and continue on the tour while it was still running. We passed all the highlights and tomorrow we'll finish them. Finishing at Starbucks we took the subway back to the hotel and now i'm admiring the phenomenal view I have from the bedroom.
I'm off to sit in the tub and read a book.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Prison in Philly
Dickens wrote that during his trip to America there were 2 things he wanted to see. The first was Niagara Falls, and the second was the Eastern State Penitentiary. This prison was built about two miles away from Philidelphia, commissioned by a group of men led by Benjamin Franklin who believed that people were all good at heart but led astray. The cure for this would be pure solitude. After getting Congress to agree with the notion, they started a contest to see who could design the perfect prison. Two years later an English architect won and construction started on the penitentiary. The outer walls make it look like a fortress or castle, the idea behind it being that people would be scared of it, especially coming from Europe where castles represented fear and torture. Inside there was a wheel structure. The 'center' would contain someone who would be able to look down each cellblock, containing about 60 rooms, ie. 60 prisoners. There were no doors to these rooms, but a small latch which food would be sent through. The cell which is about 2x3m contained 1 bed, 1 table, 1 chair, and 1 bible. The other side of the room had a door which led to a small 2x3m courtyard where the inmate would be able to go 2 times a day for a half hour to stretch their legs and get some sun. There was no speaking, no human contact, and a shower once a week. The idea was that people would do their penitence in pure silence contemplating their crimes and becoming good Christians through their bible study. By the 1850s though there were so many people that people got cellmates that the ideas behind the penitentiary were lost and it became a maximum security prison. Al Capone spent time here as well as a few other celebrities of the day. Women were also imprisoned here briefly, but after 'miraculous' pregnancies where quickly moved elsewhere.
The prison is completely run down, but the church-like structure is still there if you look hard enough. You can still see the white paint that's peeling off the walls and the spartan if not monk-like way the rooms are arranged. They've done virtually nothing when it comes to upkeep, so walking down the blocks of this once revolutionary establishment it isn't fear or depression you feel, but rather interest and bewilderment as you think of the best intentions of mice and men. Because even if the idea of penitence seems good in theory I think I agree with Dickens when he says that: "I believe that very few men are capable of estimating the immense amount of torture and agony which this dreadful punishment, prolonged for years, inflicts upon the sufferers...". I myself would never have survived this place considering how much I love to talk and with only the bible to read I would probably have gone nuts with the lack of variety. The people who work here are eerily perky and seem to have some sort of odd love for it. An interesting stop, that's literally around the corner from Sasha's apartment building. By the time the prison was closed down in the 1950s the city had extended so much that it surrounded it, and the elite neighbourhood was just a block away. Fun fact: cloth ropes were actually one of the most used methods to try to escape prison. It isn't something we just see in comedies and cartoons. They actually worked. Also only one person of the escapees was never recaptured, and this was only because the people he escaped with killed him so that if caught he wouldn't rat them out.
The rest of the day was spent shopping and eventually dinner with Sasha and her father, watching game 4 of the World Series. The Phillies won again with 10-2. And a new record was made as the pitcher hit a home run. Fun fact: The last time the pitcher hit a homerun in a world series was in 1974. It was pretty amazing to watch.
This morning the day started really early as we caught the 8.30 bus to DC. It took a little over 3 hours thanks to the jam, but it was a good time to catch up on sleep. We first had a lunch/dinner and then went to our hotel. We're in the Comfort Inn on New York avenue, 1600. On the map it seems to be walking distance to everything, they advertise that they are as well, but in truth it's a long way with the bus, through a section of town that is possibly not as safe as I would want, Not that the fact that it's a predominantly African American neighbourhood, but the houses are dilapidated and some of the characters are questionable. Everyone seems to want to talk to me and ask where we're from, not because I look out of place, but because I'm with the white guy on the bus. Stephan sticks out like a sore thumb and if it wasn't for the fact that he sometimes looks uncomfortable I'd be laughing my ass off. The bus drivers seem to feel bad for us though, so they don't make us get out at the stop but keep driving as close to the hotel as possible and just let us off at their turn-off corner.
After checking into the hotel, which is really nice, we put our stuff away and went back into town. Because it's pouring we decided to duck into a Smithsonian museum and decided to start with the Air and Space Museum. This museum is amazing! They've got everything that you can think of from the Wright Brothers airplane (it's real) to the Apollo 11 command module that Armstrong came down in. We didn't get through it all before they closed but it allowed us to at least start on it. We then walked down the Mall to have a look at Capitol Hill and then to the right towards the White House.
After a walk, Starbucks, and another interesting bus experience, we're in our room early. It just isn't the weather for anything else and game 5 of the World Series is on. So even though the water line exploded down the street and we don't have water, I'm warm in my bed, with my new t-shirt that says: Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
So I'm going to finish watching the game and get some sleep hopefully we'll have better weather tomorrow.
The prison is completely run down, but the church-like structure is still there if you look hard enough. You can still see the white paint that's peeling off the walls and the spartan if not monk-like way the rooms are arranged. They've done virtually nothing when it comes to upkeep, so walking down the blocks of this once revolutionary establishment it isn't fear or depression you feel, but rather interest and bewilderment as you think of the best intentions of mice and men. Because even if the idea of penitence seems good in theory I think I agree with Dickens when he says that: "I believe that very few men are capable of estimating the immense amount of torture and agony which this dreadful punishment, prolonged for years, inflicts upon the sufferers...". I myself would never have survived this place considering how much I love to talk and with only the bible to read I would probably have gone nuts with the lack of variety. The people who work here are eerily perky and seem to have some sort of odd love for it. An interesting stop, that's literally around the corner from Sasha's apartment building. By the time the prison was closed down in the 1950s the city had extended so much that it surrounded it, and the elite neighbourhood was just a block away. Fun fact: cloth ropes were actually one of the most used methods to try to escape prison. It isn't something we just see in comedies and cartoons. They actually worked. Also only one person of the escapees was never recaptured, and this was only because the people he escaped with killed him so that if caught he wouldn't rat them out.
The rest of the day was spent shopping and eventually dinner with Sasha and her father, watching game 4 of the World Series. The Phillies won again with 10-2. And a new record was made as the pitcher hit a home run. Fun fact: The last time the pitcher hit a homerun in a world series was in 1974. It was pretty amazing to watch.
This morning the day started really early as we caught the 8.30 bus to DC. It took a little over 3 hours thanks to the jam, but it was a good time to catch up on sleep. We first had a lunch/dinner and then went to our hotel. We're in the Comfort Inn on New York avenue, 1600. On the map it seems to be walking distance to everything, they advertise that they are as well, but in truth it's a long way with the bus, through a section of town that is possibly not as safe as I would want, Not that the fact that it's a predominantly African American neighbourhood, but the houses are dilapidated and some of the characters are questionable. Everyone seems to want to talk to me and ask where we're from, not because I look out of place, but because I'm with the white guy on the bus. Stephan sticks out like a sore thumb and if it wasn't for the fact that he sometimes looks uncomfortable I'd be laughing my ass off. The bus drivers seem to feel bad for us though, so they don't make us get out at the stop but keep driving as close to the hotel as possible and just let us off at their turn-off corner.
After checking into the hotel, which is really nice, we put our stuff away and went back into town. Because it's pouring we decided to duck into a Smithsonian museum and decided to start with the Air and Space Museum. This museum is amazing! They've got everything that you can think of from the Wright Brothers airplane (it's real) to the Apollo 11 command module that Armstrong came down in. We didn't get through it all before they closed but it allowed us to at least start on it. We then walked down the Mall to have a look at Capitol Hill and then to the right towards the White House.
After a walk, Starbucks, and another interesting bus experience, we're in our room early. It just isn't the weather for anything else and game 5 of the World Series is on. So even though the water line exploded down the street and we don't have water, I'm warm in my bed, with my new t-shirt that says: Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
So I'm going to finish watching the game and get some sleep hopefully we'll have better weather tomorrow.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Philly day 3
The day was definately packed with all kinds of interesting things. We started out yesterday morning with a visit to Christ Church, which is one of the first churches in Philly, the first congress worshiped here and a few of the declaration signers are burried there. It's a modest church, just what you'd expect from protestants who left Europe because they were being persecuted. Fun Fact: As I was walking through the church there was a pastor talking to two small children and their mother, and he said: "Do you realise how young this country is, why you're children are the 12th generation of this nation." How weird is that?!
After a coffee break, where I had the most delicious warm milk with pumpkin spice (This was amazing, I think it should be shipped out internationally.) we went to have alook at the old city hall, the liberty bell, and the independence hall visitor center for tickets for the tour. Then slightly hungry we went to get a cheese steak. Now this is a local delicacy... if that's what you can call it. It's bread with cheeze wizz, and cooked beef. It sounds disgusting, I know, but in truth it's fantasic.
While Sasha and Stephan were off getting that, I went to the physick House. Doctor Physick was a very promenant doctor, who not only did a lot for the community there, but also for medicine. Instruments, such as the ones he created for eye surgery and dentistry are still used today. He also made the first American Soda after reading about the work of schweps in europe. The house in itself is very beautiful and is run by the great great grandson of the docotor. The family apparently lived in the house until the late 60s, which makes it even more amazing that it's in such good condition. Fun Fact: The curator had a fun time showing me around and giving me tons of interesting little facts. I'm not going to list them all, but these were fun. Apparently back then when you were dying they'd bleed you. The idea was that they needed to get the bad blood out of you. Usually this just killed you quicker. However in some cases you didn't die, but fell into a coma. Thinking you were dead they'd start arranging a funeral, but just to be on the safe side they'd leave you out to be viewed for a few days, which is why it's called a wake. It's just in case you wake up... and sometimes people really did. If you were still sure that your loved one was dead they'd burry you, but just in case they'd put a bell topside with a string going down into the coffin. So, if you happened to wake up and find yourself burried alive all you had to do was ring the bell. The guy that came to dig you out was called the graveyard shift... a term still used in hospitals for example. Also, two people who you think look alike are called dead-ringers. This is because, someone who's rung the bell and been dug out, if you saw him a couple days later, people would say: "Wow he's a dead-ringer for the guy we burried a couple days ago."
After our cheese steak we went to independence hall. Which was all of two rooms. There's an upstairs but that's only open in the spring. The only rooms you get to see are the courtroom and the congress room, where both the declairation and the consitution were signed. Unfortunately everything except George Washington's chair isn't authentic. After a 20 minute tour we headed to the Rosenbach house.
The Rosenbach brothers were the first people to create a library in their own home and open it for others. They in essence became the first lending library. In it there are thousands of interesting and abnormal books, such as the diary of a well worn hankerchief. It's considered to be the first book written in the United States. Also there were rooms dedicated to Sendak, an illistrator, who illistrated some of my favorite childrens books: Where the Wild Things Are, Chicken Soup with Rice, and Jacque and the Lion. It was interesting to see where his inspiration had come from and how he went about with his drawings. A couple years ago he illustrated an opera and the bad guy who in the opera is a quasi-hitler was drawn exactly so. In the pictures he became a sort of hitler/napolien clown in a very italien comedy del art.
Afterwards we went to the Obama office, where we got a small course in phone banking... not my cup of tea. As most of you know I'm not a call center kind of person, so this definately wasn't my thing, but I called 3 people and had done my duty for the day.
Then Sasha took us to the most decadent place I've ever been. It's called Naked Chocolate, and if there's any place on earth that's bad for you, it's here. A cup of chocolate milk is just a melted down bar of chocolate. The cups luckily are the size of espresso cups, but even that was almost too much to take. I in any case didn't finish it.
With a chocolate haze around us we met up with Sasha's parents and sister for dinner. We ate at a place called Cuba Viva, and looked like the set of Much Ado during the trip to Stratford. The food was amasing and the company was great. It was fantastic to see everyone and be able to catch up, especially considering the atmosphere around us. It's definatly a place I'd love to go back to. Afterwards a hop to a bar where the obama people were watching the game, which we stayed for about half of before I decided that I was about to fall asleep.
I didn't even finish the game when we got home, I was so tired.
But it's a new day and the penetentary awaits. So I'm off to prison.
After a coffee break, where I had the most delicious warm milk with pumpkin spice (This was amazing, I think it should be shipped out internationally.) we went to have alook at the old city hall, the liberty bell, and the independence hall visitor center for tickets for the tour. Then slightly hungry we went to get a cheese steak. Now this is a local delicacy... if that's what you can call it. It's bread with cheeze wizz, and cooked beef. It sounds disgusting, I know, but in truth it's fantasic.
While Sasha and Stephan were off getting that, I went to the physick House. Doctor Physick was a very promenant doctor, who not only did a lot for the community there, but also for medicine. Instruments, such as the ones he created for eye surgery and dentistry are still used today. He also made the first American Soda after reading about the work of schweps in europe. The house in itself is very beautiful and is run by the great great grandson of the docotor. The family apparently lived in the house until the late 60s, which makes it even more amazing that it's in such good condition. Fun Fact: The curator had a fun time showing me around and giving me tons of interesting little facts. I'm not going to list them all, but these were fun. Apparently back then when you were dying they'd bleed you. The idea was that they needed to get the bad blood out of you. Usually this just killed you quicker. However in some cases you didn't die, but fell into a coma. Thinking you were dead they'd start arranging a funeral, but just to be on the safe side they'd leave you out to be viewed for a few days, which is why it's called a wake. It's just in case you wake up... and sometimes people really did. If you were still sure that your loved one was dead they'd burry you, but just in case they'd put a bell topside with a string going down into the coffin. So, if you happened to wake up and find yourself burried alive all you had to do was ring the bell. The guy that came to dig you out was called the graveyard shift... a term still used in hospitals for example. Also, two people who you think look alike are called dead-ringers. This is because, someone who's rung the bell and been dug out, if you saw him a couple days later, people would say: "Wow he's a dead-ringer for the guy we burried a couple days ago."
After our cheese steak we went to independence hall. Which was all of two rooms. There's an upstairs but that's only open in the spring. The only rooms you get to see are the courtroom and the congress room, where both the declairation and the consitution were signed. Unfortunately everything except George Washington's chair isn't authentic. After a 20 minute tour we headed to the Rosenbach house.
The Rosenbach brothers were the first people to create a library in their own home and open it for others. They in essence became the first lending library. In it there are thousands of interesting and abnormal books, such as the diary of a well worn hankerchief. It's considered to be the first book written in the United States. Also there were rooms dedicated to Sendak, an illistrator, who illistrated some of my favorite childrens books: Where the Wild Things Are, Chicken Soup with Rice, and Jacque and the Lion. It was interesting to see where his inspiration had come from and how he went about with his drawings. A couple years ago he illustrated an opera and the bad guy who in the opera is a quasi-hitler was drawn exactly so. In the pictures he became a sort of hitler/napolien clown in a very italien comedy del art.
Afterwards we went to the Obama office, where we got a small course in phone banking... not my cup of tea. As most of you know I'm not a call center kind of person, so this definately wasn't my thing, but I called 3 people and had done my duty for the day.
Then Sasha took us to the most decadent place I've ever been. It's called Naked Chocolate, and if there's any place on earth that's bad for you, it's here. A cup of chocolate milk is just a melted down bar of chocolate. The cups luckily are the size of espresso cups, but even that was almost too much to take. I in any case didn't finish it.
With a chocolate haze around us we met up with Sasha's parents and sister for dinner. We ate at a place called Cuba Viva, and looked like the set of Much Ado during the trip to Stratford. The food was amasing and the company was great. It was fantastic to see everyone and be able to catch up, especially considering the atmosphere around us. It's definatly a place I'd love to go back to. Afterwards a hop to a bar where the obama people were watching the game, which we stayed for about half of before I decided that I was about to fall asleep.
I didn't even finish the game when we got home, I was so tired.
But it's a new day and the penetentary awaits. So I'm off to prison.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Philly
Greetings from Philly... home of one of the world series teams of 2008 and swing state in the election. From what I understand it's going to be a big player. If McCain doesn't win here, then he doesn't win. So, we'll have to wish hope and pray that the people here in Pennsylvania figure it out in the coming 11 days.
So our day started out packing our backpacks getting ready to go to philly. Because the bus was leaving from chinatown we decided to go there for brunch, and found a pancake house (after much walking around... it's HUGE!) that was run by Malaysian chinese. At 2 we caught the bus, which was all of $10 and 2 hours later Sasha met up with us.
The first thing I saw getting off the bus was the amount of McCain posters all over the place. It seems like New York doesn't even have them, and come to think of it I'd be scared to wear or show one considering how many people are gung-ho there. In any case, we took the shuttle to Sasha's place to drop off our stuff first. Now, when I say shuttle, I really mean shuttle... it's a free bus service run by the building for the people who live in it. It's rediculous. Apparently Sasha pays about $900 a month and in it comes water, heat, a washing machine, dryer, cable, and this shuttle service. It's rediculous. The building looks like a hotel, and was one back in the day.
After dropping our stuff, exchanging gifts, and a long walk into town, we landed up at one of the Obama volunteer offices. Where we met with the person in charge, Claire, and had a look around. We'll probably do some volunteer work one afternoon just for the experience.
Dinner followed, in a local bar where we ran into a lot of Sasha's friends and old collegues, All of them working for the campaign in one way or the other, so we got some great info. Interesting stories in any case... One for example came from Sasha... it's kinda gross... There's a woman in Texas who a week ago claimed that she'd been attacked by a black man in front of an ATM. He'd seen her McCain/Palin sticker on her car and in a rage beat her up and carved a backwards B on her cheek. Yuk. In any case, se went to the police in order to report the incident. FOX News went balistic with covering the story, but a couple days ago the woman came out again saying that she'd made the whole thing up, gave herself the black eye and carved the B herself. Now I wonder, I know some people do extreme things in the name of politics and belief... heck Gandhi stopped eating... but to carve a B on your cheek because you don't want the other guy to get elected... how nuts do you have to be?!
That's it for today, time to throw in towel and get a few winks.
I'll leave you with this fun fact: There's no first street in Philidelphia because the Quakers founded Philidelphia and because they put God first, they couldn't put anything above or equal to him. Not even a street.
So our day started out packing our backpacks getting ready to go to philly. Because the bus was leaving from chinatown we decided to go there for brunch, and found a pancake house (after much walking around... it's HUGE!) that was run by Malaysian chinese. At 2 we caught the bus, which was all of $10 and 2 hours later Sasha met up with us.
The first thing I saw getting off the bus was the amount of McCain posters all over the place. It seems like New York doesn't even have them, and come to think of it I'd be scared to wear or show one considering how many people are gung-ho there. In any case, we took the shuttle to Sasha's place to drop off our stuff first. Now, when I say shuttle, I really mean shuttle... it's a free bus service run by the building for the people who live in it. It's rediculous. Apparently Sasha pays about $900 a month and in it comes water, heat, a washing machine, dryer, cable, and this shuttle service. It's rediculous. The building looks like a hotel, and was one back in the day.
After dropping our stuff, exchanging gifts, and a long walk into town, we landed up at one of the Obama volunteer offices. Where we met with the person in charge, Claire, and had a look around. We'll probably do some volunteer work one afternoon just for the experience.
Dinner followed, in a local bar where we ran into a lot of Sasha's friends and old collegues, All of them working for the campaign in one way or the other, so we got some great info. Interesting stories in any case... One for example came from Sasha... it's kinda gross... There's a woman in Texas who a week ago claimed that she'd been attacked by a black man in front of an ATM. He'd seen her McCain/Palin sticker on her car and in a rage beat her up and carved a backwards B on her cheek. Yuk. In any case, se went to the police in order to report the incident. FOX News went balistic with covering the story, but a couple days ago the woman came out again saying that she'd made the whole thing up, gave herself the black eye and carved the B herself. Now I wonder, I know some people do extreme things in the name of politics and belief... heck Gandhi stopped eating... but to carve a B on your cheek because you don't want the other guy to get elected... how nuts do you have to be?!
That's it for today, time to throw in towel and get a few winks.
I'll leave you with this fun fact: There's no first street in Philidelphia because the Quakers founded Philidelphia and because they put God first, they couldn't put anything above or equal to him. Not even a street.
Day 2 New York
Things look a lot differently by the light of day and after atleast 8 hours of sleep. We took our time this morning getting up and then went in search of an ATM and food. Then we took the metro down to Grand Central Station. It looks a lot lighter in real life... In documentries and movies it always seems to be a little darker and I wouldn't say dreary, but more old. The same type of feeling you get with art deco. But after what had to be a big clean up it's really beautiful and light. Constellations on the celing and beautiful art on the walls. Vacationing with Stephan is well.. exactly the opposite as going with Loes... not that I don't love going on vacation with you Loes... and to tell the truth I miss it a little... we had plans- Big plans, but after central station we walked out and Stephan said let's go right.
Right was a good option because it took us to the Public Library, where inbetween all the beautiful and boutiful books, the 4 bag checks, and a few Escher-esque staircases that lead absolutely nowhere, we discovered a great colletion of photos of Babe Ruth, Lou Garing, and Mickey Mantle. For those of you who aren't as up to their Baseball history Babe Ruth was the cause of the Curse of the red sox after they sold him off to the Yankees, Lou Garing died of ALS way too early and missed out being one of the highest batting average hitters of his time and Mickey Mantle who beat Babe Ruth's record the year after the Bambino retired. They were amazing pictures. I'd seen them all before online, except for the one of Lou's funeral where Babe is leaning over the coffin. A moving picture to be sure.
The minute we got out of the library Stephan spotted the Empire State building. So we dashed over to go up it. It looked extactly as it did in every movie I can think of. An Affair to Remember, On The Town, New York, New York... it looked exactly the same. You would think that it would be covered in bird shit after so many years, but it's sooo clean! We hypothesized that it was just too high up for the pigeons, but that theory was shot to hell when a group of pigeons started attacking the people next to us. Fun Fact: There's actually a docking area for Derijables at the top of the ESB... it was only tested though, because it was too dangerous to use regularly.
Btw... what's with all the Dutch here?! By the end of the day it seemed like we'd run into ALL of them! Ugh... And they look soooooo Dutch.
Afterwards we randomly walked around for a while, eventually finding ourselves in Barnes and Nobles (BOOKS!!!!- I only bought 4... I'm pacing myself) and then Macy's. We met up with Akeli afterwards and headed home to drop of stuff and then back into town for dinner. For dinner we landed up at a diner. It was pretty amazing. Only I fogot how big the portions are. So we had way too much food, but the Mac and Cheese was fantastic as well as the spicy buffalo wings. Then a trip to times square and now we're back at Akeli's place.
A non-sequncial, but none the less intereting, Akeli just voted absentee for the election, but I had never seen an ballot before. Not only do they vote for president but they also vote for every circut court judge they can think of. Even if you have no idea who each one of them is you have to vote yes or no for retention of the judge. Fun fact: there is 1 mccarthey and a nixon on the ballot. poor people. Dick Durbin is still Illinois senator. When we went to Springfiled, IL in 6th grade the guy was in office, and apparently he's still there!
Well, it's midnight, so it's time to hit the sack again. Tomorrow it's another big day with us travelling to Philedelphia.
Right was a good option because it took us to the Public Library, where inbetween all the beautiful and boutiful books, the 4 bag checks, and a few Escher-esque staircases that lead absolutely nowhere, we discovered a great colletion of photos of Babe Ruth, Lou Garing, and Mickey Mantle. For those of you who aren't as up to their Baseball history Babe Ruth was the cause of the Curse of the red sox after they sold him off to the Yankees, Lou Garing died of ALS way too early and missed out being one of the highest batting average hitters of his time and Mickey Mantle who beat Babe Ruth's record the year after the Bambino retired. They were amazing pictures. I'd seen them all before online, except for the one of Lou's funeral where Babe is leaning over the coffin. A moving picture to be sure.
The minute we got out of the library Stephan spotted the Empire State building. So we dashed over to go up it. It looked extactly as it did in every movie I can think of. An Affair to Remember, On The Town, New York, New York... it looked exactly the same. You would think that it would be covered in bird shit after so many years, but it's sooo clean! We hypothesized that it was just too high up for the pigeons, but that theory was shot to hell when a group of pigeons started attacking the people next to us. Fun Fact: There's actually a docking area for Derijables at the top of the ESB... it was only tested though, because it was too dangerous to use regularly.
Btw... what's with all the Dutch here?! By the end of the day it seemed like we'd run into ALL of them! Ugh... And they look soooooo Dutch.
Afterwards we randomly walked around for a while, eventually finding ourselves in Barnes and Nobles (BOOKS!!!!- I only bought 4... I'm pacing myself) and then Macy's. We met up with Akeli afterwards and headed home to drop of stuff and then back into town for dinner. For dinner we landed up at a diner. It was pretty amazing. Only I fogot how big the portions are. So we had way too much food, but the Mac and Cheese was fantastic as well as the spicy buffalo wings. Then a trip to times square and now we're back at Akeli's place.
A non-sequncial, but none the less intereting, Akeli just voted absentee for the election, but I had never seen an ballot before. Not only do they vote for president but they also vote for every circut court judge they can think of. Even if you have no idea who each one of them is you have to vote yes or no for retention of the judge. Fun fact: there is 1 mccarthey and a nixon on the ballot. poor people. Dick Durbin is still Illinois senator. When we went to Springfiled, IL in 6th grade the guy was in office, and apparently he's still there!
Well, it's midnight, so it's time to hit the sack again. Tomorrow it's another big day with us travelling to Philedelphia.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
New York
So I've made it to New York! And seeing Akeli (the friend we're staying with) is like there hasn't been an almost 10 year gap since we've seen each other. It's uncanny how we just kind of picked up where we left off... same jokes... same way of talking... poor Stephan's haveing a hell of a time trying to keep up... but I'm not sure if it's the jetlag or that things have gotten just a tad too weird for him. lol.
Morning started out okay, the plane from Amsterdam left on time after half a douzan checks and an inquery into who Mrs. Richards was... aparently there was someone else on my ticket. That was luckily corrected immediately. I wouldn't have wanted to have a problem with that in the states! I got some reading done, we played a lot of 'shit head' and half watched the inflight movies: Nim's Island, Catch Me If You Can, Spin City, and an episode of Wonder Woman. (Jan, it was the original Wonderwoman.... Absolutely crazy... oh, and the bad guy is played by the nambypamby judge from Boston Legal! He already looks like he's 60 there... he must be 80 now or something cause besides for the wrinkles he look EXACTLY the same!) Oh, and the pilot of the flight's name was Kirk. I kid you not! Immediately the two of us started up with the star trek jokes!
We arrived about a half hour early and had to gather our luggage, go through customs, put our luggage somewhere else, go get our hand luggage checked again (had to take off our shoes too) and then had to wait for the shuttle to take us from the A pier to the F pier. In a rush and worried we were about to miss our connecting flight we arrived to find out that our flight had been delayed by half an hour. We grabbed what would have been a late dinner and waited for our flight, which was futher delayed for another 15 minutes. Eventually we borded the antiek and what had to be held together by tape Dash 8-100... for those not familiar with airplanes it's a propellar plane which seats something like 40 people. 20 minutes taxi-ing, 26 minutes flying and 45 minutes circleing awaiting permission to land and we were in La Guarda. A 10 minute cab ride later and we were in Akeli's place.
Now this apartment bares mentioning. In it's time it must have been a fantastic apartment. it could easily fit a couple starting out with a livingroom, bedroom, bathroom and kitched. The living room is akeli's bedroom and has a screen to separate the areas and the bedroom is where her gay roommate sleeps. He's over at his boyfriend's place for the next few days so I have akeli's bed, Akeli's in her roommate's room and Stephan's got the pull out couch. About halfway through the evening Stephan decides to go freshen up, and Akeli tells him that the bathroom door does kind of stick, but no problem, turn the knob to the right, lift, and then turn to the left and it opens easily. Well, that didn't happened. What did happen was that Stephan got stuck for about an hour with us trying to get him out. With no luck with the sticky handle I eventually removed the knobs with a knife/screwdriver so we could fiddle with the inside. That seemed to have been broken, which was causeing the problems, so after trying a number of different tactics Akeli went to look for the Super. They don't have one. But luckily the guy in the elevator could help and eventually using an old creditcard he jimmyed the door open.
Dinner was ordered, I watched the first 3 innings of the Philidelphia Phillies against the Tempa Bay Devil Rays... Game 1 of the World series and Stephan passed out on the couch.So all in all an eventful day. Tomorrow, who knows what it will bring!
Now I'm going to pass out. Enjoy your day tomorrow, and I'll send an update soon.
Morning started out okay, the plane from Amsterdam left on time after half a douzan checks and an inquery into who Mrs. Richards was... aparently there was someone else on my ticket. That was luckily corrected immediately. I wouldn't have wanted to have a problem with that in the states! I got some reading done, we played a lot of 'shit head' and half watched the inflight movies: Nim's Island, Catch Me If You Can, Spin City, and an episode of Wonder Woman. (Jan, it was the original Wonderwoman.... Absolutely crazy... oh, and the bad guy is played by the nambypamby judge from Boston Legal! He already looks like he's 60 there... he must be 80 now or something cause besides for the wrinkles he look EXACTLY the same!) Oh, and the pilot of the flight's name was Kirk. I kid you not! Immediately the two of us started up with the star trek jokes!
We arrived about a half hour early and had to gather our luggage, go through customs, put our luggage somewhere else, go get our hand luggage checked again (had to take off our shoes too) and then had to wait for the shuttle to take us from the A pier to the F pier. In a rush and worried we were about to miss our connecting flight we arrived to find out that our flight had been delayed by half an hour. We grabbed what would have been a late dinner and waited for our flight, which was futher delayed for another 15 minutes. Eventually we borded the antiek and what had to be held together by tape Dash 8-100... for those not familiar with airplanes it's a propellar plane which seats something like 40 people. 20 minutes taxi-ing, 26 minutes flying and 45 minutes circleing awaiting permission to land and we were in La Guarda. A 10 minute cab ride later and we were in Akeli's place.
Now this apartment bares mentioning. In it's time it must have been a fantastic apartment. it could easily fit a couple starting out with a livingroom, bedroom, bathroom and kitched. The living room is akeli's bedroom and has a screen to separate the areas and the bedroom is where her gay roommate sleeps. He's over at his boyfriend's place for the next few days so I have akeli's bed, Akeli's in her roommate's room and Stephan's got the pull out couch. About halfway through the evening Stephan decides to go freshen up, and Akeli tells him that the bathroom door does kind of stick, but no problem, turn the knob to the right, lift, and then turn to the left and it opens easily. Well, that didn't happened. What did happen was that Stephan got stuck for about an hour with us trying to get him out. With no luck with the sticky handle I eventually removed the knobs with a knife/screwdriver so we could fiddle with the inside. That seemed to have been broken, which was causeing the problems, so after trying a number of different tactics Akeli went to look for the Super. They don't have one. But luckily the guy in the elevator could help and eventually using an old creditcard he jimmyed the door open.
Dinner was ordered, I watched the first 3 innings of the Philidelphia Phillies against the Tempa Bay Devil Rays... Game 1 of the World series and Stephan passed out on the couch.So all in all an eventful day. Tomorrow, who knows what it will bring!
Now I'm going to pass out. Enjoy your day tomorrow, and I'll send an update soon.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Murphey's Law
Since I've been little my mother and father have named every rule I can imagine:
Never Run With Scissors
Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth
Always eat the peas, you don't know who out there is starving for yours
And my personal favorite:
When you haste that's when accidents happen
Even though I always thought those that wanted my peas could have them, it's the last one I'd like to talk about.
About a month ago I asked my brother to go to Media Markt and buy me the largest external harddrive he could find for 100 euros. For 70 he bought me this great harddrive with so much space my mouth began to water at the thought of all the music, movies, and tv shows I could put on it. Low and behold the next day it was broken. My mother had tripped over the cord and it had fallen to it's doom- Not after taking everything with it.
So, two days later I went with my father back to Media Markt and I exchanged it. For an extra 80 euros. I got something that the guy told me would be less easy to break.
Two weeks later I've broken it. This time I was the one to trip over it. And after downloading everything all over again, I've hit a point where I say: I really don't give a shit anymore. I can't return it, and I'm going on vacation in 2 days. Just calm down and let it pass over me.
This isn't the first time Murphey's bit me in the ass.
Two years ago I bought a laptop. An acer that was on sale and that was supposed to be oh so reliable. A day after the 1 year warrenty it dies. sigh... 3 months and 1000 euros later I have another laptop, but it's a sony... and i'm starting to feel Murphey scrating at my elbow. Now if the scab follows I think I might pack it all in and become amish. I'm one step away from it as it is.
Technology is supposed to be reliable. Entire countries are now on computers. If that's the case and my small little electronic junk can't survive how are we supposed to? I'm just waiting for the Die Hard 4.0 to come to life... "firesale everyone, everything's got to go, get it while it's hot!"
Never Run With Scissors
Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth
Always eat the peas, you don't know who out there is starving for yours
And my personal favorite:
When you haste that's when accidents happen
Even though I always thought those that wanted my peas could have them, it's the last one I'd like to talk about.
About a month ago I asked my brother to go to Media Markt and buy me the largest external harddrive he could find for 100 euros. For 70 he bought me this great harddrive with so much space my mouth began to water at the thought of all the music, movies, and tv shows I could put on it. Low and behold the next day it was broken. My mother had tripped over the cord and it had fallen to it's doom- Not after taking everything with it.
So, two days later I went with my father back to Media Markt and I exchanged it. For an extra 80 euros. I got something that the guy told me would be less easy to break.
Two weeks later I've broken it. This time I was the one to trip over it. And after downloading everything all over again, I've hit a point where I say: I really don't give a shit anymore. I can't return it, and I'm going on vacation in 2 days. Just calm down and let it pass over me.
This isn't the first time Murphey's bit me in the ass.
Two years ago I bought a laptop. An acer that was on sale and that was supposed to be oh so reliable. A day after the 1 year warrenty it dies. sigh... 3 months and 1000 euros later I have another laptop, but it's a sony... and i'm starting to feel Murphey scrating at my elbow. Now if the scab follows I think I might pack it all in and become amish. I'm one step away from it as it is.
Technology is supposed to be reliable. Entire countries are now on computers. If that's the case and my small little electronic junk can't survive how are we supposed to? I'm just waiting for the Die Hard 4.0 to come to life... "firesale everyone, everything's got to go, get it while it's hot!"
Monday, October 13, 2008
Realism in Romance: A Look at Health-, Penal- and Labor Issues in Oliver Twist
Realism in Romance: A Look at Health-, Penal- and Labor Issues in Oliver Twist
Charles Dickens was born in 1812 to John and Elizabeth Dickens. In 1822, after years of living in idyllic conditions, John was transferred to London for work, and it is here that Charles encountered poverty for the first time. Entranced by the busy and dirty streets of London and the conditions people were living in, he was known to skip school in order to ‘discover’ the city. Things turned for the worse though, when John could no longer afford to pay his bills and he sent Charles to work at Warren’s Boot Blacking Factory and even then John Dickens was placed in Debtors prison with the rest of the family. Only Charles seemed to be able to avoid this, and then only to be alone and very poor. At the age of 12 he was now fending for himself on the streets, determined to earn back everything that he had lost. Eventually Charles got work as a legal clerk and from there became a reporter.[1]
His history, like so many others of his day influenced the way he wrote. However, unlike other Victorian authors, Charles had a deeper understanding of the problems facing England’s society at the time having lived through most of the events he wrote about. The issues that he and so many others took onto themselves varied. Everything from labor issues to Parliament reform. They were all about change and how it wasn’t happening fast enough. They were concerned with the plight of the lower classes and that there was not enough being done to help those who had less money and/or were not aristocratic. Writing turned out to be one of the avenues used in order to gain support, or at least inform people on the broader scale on what conditions in certain areas of the country truly were like.
The majority of the readership of novels and newspapers were the upper classes. This was because they were the only ones with the time and money to read, and in some cases also the ones that could read as the rate of literacy at the time was still quite low. Therefore writing turned into an appropriate medium to reach a wide audience.
However, as well as informing people at the time there were a large number of people who critiqued Dickens’ work. They called it unrealistic and Romantic with too much melodrama to be other than it is. This does not mean that the novel fulfilled it’s duty: to entertain and enlighten, but it allowed for people to turn a blind eye and take it as fiction. A great example of this conundrum is Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. It is not a realistic novel, but it incorporates realistic elements, such as health and Sanitation-, penal- and labor issues that Effected England in the 1800s. Therefore, though it is a melodramatic romance, it has a realistic layer underneath it.
Sanitation and health were problems people living in 19th century England faced. In the 1840s a public sanitary reform ensued which resulted in an acts being passed in the late 1840s. Dickens believed in the importance of good sanitation, and mentioned it in most of his novels. After coming to London Oliver quickly finds himself in the rooms of Fagin, which are described: “It was a dirty place. The rooms upstairs had great high wooden chimney-pieces and large doors, with paneled walls and cornices to the celing, which, although they were black with neglect and dust, were ornamented in various ways; from all of which tokens Oliver concluded that a long time ago, before the old Jew was born, it belonged to better people, and had perhaps been quite gay and handsome, dismal and dreary as it looked now.”[2] This is an example of what conditions were like inside homes. However, surprisingly enough, it is not Fagin, or one of the boys that ever gets ill in the novel. Sikes does fall ill, and considering the condition that Fagin lives in, Sikes and Nancy cannot live much better. Sikes also mentions that he has been sick for three weeks. Though we do not know the cause of his illness we can assume that if he were living in more sanitary conditions he might have recovered earlier. Lucky for Oliver, he seems to become unwell after leaving the horrid conditions and going somewhere where sanitation is of higher importance. For instance when Oliver gets sick and is brought to the house of Mr. Brownlow, or that after being shot he is taken in by Mrs. and Miss Maylie. In each time he is brought to an environment that is healthier for him and does not allow for contamination to spread.
The conditions of the streets also give pause. “Crazy wooden galleries common to the backs of half a dozen houses, with holes with which to look upon the slime beneath; windows broken and patched, with poles thrust out on which to dry the linen that is never there; rooms so small, so filthy, so confined, that the air would seem too tainted even for the dirt and squalor which they shelter; wooden chambers thrusting themselves out above the mud, and threatening to fall into it, as some have done; dirt besmeared walls and decaying foundations; every repulsive lineament of poverty, every loathsome indication of filth, rot, and garbage;- all these ornament the banks of folly ditch.”[3] It is of a comedic nature to state here that the mayor of London at the time was not only unaware of the condition of Jacob’s Island (mentioned above), but he also disbelieved its existence. It seems romantic, as if a foreign country, but Jacob’s Island is truly a section of London and did indeed suffer as badly as mentioned. Because of how casually Dickens creates ironical twists to injury, illness, and dirt in the rest of the novel, chapter 50 can be easily looked over as another one of his ironical and fictitious writings. It was only after the publication of Oliver Twist in the 1930s that the Sanitary Act was passed (1866). It was “a response to the failure of previous legislation and allowed action to be taken against local authorities providing inadequate sewer services and water supply. It called for comprehensive sewerage and water connection of all houses, street cleaning and legislated against overcrowding, to be enforced by Sanitary Inspectors.”[4]
The penalty for breaking the law was harsh. Also, there was no difference made between penalties for adults or children, as criminals were considered born into what they were. They also believed that there was little, if not no, way to nurture criminals in such a way that they would be able to resist a life of crime. Because of the way that Dickens handles criminals in the novel it is obvious to see that he does not believe in the theories that previously dominated society. He seems to twist humor into most, if not all sections of the novel pertaining to crime, penalties, prison, or hanging. The police officers, magistrates, and constables are caricatures and are usually made fun of in some way or another. For example, when Oliver lays injured in the home of Miss Maylie and the constables arrive to arrest him, the doctor keeps our hero from being arrested. However, the way this is done makes fools of the constables without them realizing it and then when they look at him oddly, he dares them to disagree with him.[5]
Dickens’ characters make light of what could be waiting for them throughout the novel. Hanging for instance is taken as much in humor as a warning. “’He’ll come to be scragged won’t he?’ ‘I don’t know what that means,’ replied Oliver. ‘Something in this way, old feller,’ said Charley. As he said it, Master Bates caught up an end of his neckerchief, and holding it erect in the air, dropped his head on his shoulder, and jerked a curious sound through his teeth; thereby indicating, by a lively pantomimic representation, that scragging and hanging were one and the same thing.”[6] This is another prime example why this novel is a romance. Even though the realistic elements are intertwined, the morbidity of the novel corresponds more to a romance than it does to a realistic text. Even the accidental hanging of Sikes at the end of the novel plays into this, as it seems very unrealistic that he could accidentally hang himself, however, Fagin’s real ending comes to the reader much more possible. This is also why the novel first discusses Fagin and only then turns to Sikes. By having the accidental hanging at the end of the novel, the author allows for the reader to put down the book with a feeling of stepping back towards reality. If the novel had ended with Fagin, the reader would have been more ready to believe that the actions taking place were of a more nonfiction nature.
The conditions that people had to work in were very bad as well. Dickens was a strong supporter of labor reform, especially those that pertained to children. Oliver’s life is typical of an orphan of his age. Orphans from poor families were sent to work houses and had to labor at a very young age. Only orphans from rich families could be put in orphanages. One of the most common occupations for children was with machinery, where they could replace or fix things that were really small. Also coal mining was often where poor children were sent to work. The conditions were awful and incredibly dangerous. A well documented case is that of “The young girls who worked in the match factories run by Bryant and May endured long hours and poor pay. They worked with dangerous materials such as phosphorous that could cause a disease known as 'phossy jaw' that rotted their lower jaw.”[7] For children in the country, like Oliver, things happened a little differently. People with various occupations were able to buy an orphan out of the poorhouse in order to apprentice. Children were not able to choose their apprenticeships, but rather were placed somewhere, which is unusual for Oliver. At first, Oliver is able to choose not to go with Mr. Limbkins who has a group of child chimney sweeps that he orders. “’It’s a nasty trade,’ said Mr. Limbkins, when Gamfield had again stated his wish. ‘Young boys have been smothered in chimneys before now,’ said another gentleman. ‘That’s acause they damped the straw afore they lit it in the chimbley to make ‘em come down agin,’ said Gamfield; ‘that’s all smoke, and no blase; vereas smoke aint o’ no use at all in makin’ a boy come down, for it only sinds him to sleep, and that’s wot he likes. Boys is wery obstinant, and wery lazy, gen’lemen and there ‘s nothink like a good hot blaze to make ‘em come down vith a run. It’s human, too, gen’lemen, acause, even if they’ve stuck in the chimbley, roasting their feet makes ‘em struggle to hextricate theirselves.’”[8] Here as the characters are making light of roasting feet and hextricating boys, Dickens is showing that there is little to no regard for the plight of child labor. It wasn’t until 1899 that all children had the option of going to school until the age of 12.
At the undertaker’s, though, Oliver seems to have it very well. He has a somewhat decent place to sleep, he gets meals- even though they are little more than scraps they are still more than he had previous to his employment there. Also the owner of the business treated him fairly, allowing him to go to things that he would otherwise take no one to. Therefore it can be construed that Oliver’s leaving there as seeing ‘a gift-horse in the mouth.’ It seems unrealistic that after achieving something that seems somewhat better than Oliver had before, he would choose to run away after a skirmish with Mr. Claypole, and go to London, where he has no friends, family, or connections. Even what seems like his only friend, Dick, does nothing but wish him well as he himself prepares for his death (a death that does not even happen in the novel, considering that he returns later, wanting to write a letter to Oliver giving his love.)
Realism plays a factor in this novel, however, does not take up enough of it in order to make it a realistic novel. Like the Route-Goldberg effect, one thing seems to happen after the next so rapidly, that the novel gives a romantic feel to it. The majority of the characters are two-dimensional and are caricatures, not to mention that the reader’s ability to distance him- or herself from the plot allows for the notion of a foreign place to be the backdrop. That is to say, it is as if one can still think that the events are happening elsewhere and not in London, because of the irony and unrealistic events that take place. None the less, there are a variety of elements that are based in truth. These elements predominantly surround the issues of Health and Sanitation, Penal law, and Labor. Dickens clearly gives his opinion within each issue of reform and cleverly hides information within entertaining tales. Each chapter deals with at least one of the three issues and each character flirts with them as well.
When it comes to Health, one sees how bad the conditions of the time really are. He places people live and their ability to recover from illness. Also, one sees how certain areas of London are so bad that they are almost detrimental to live in. Change in the Penal system was important to Dickens as seen in his constant bringing up of it. Also the way that Fagin is treated towards the end of the novel. However, more than just the way in which things are done have to be changed, as Dickens asks people to rethink their position on nature and nurture when it comes to criminals. Finally, Labor laws needed to be reevaluated. Because of Dickens’ experience with these laws he felt that they would have to be altered so that others would not be put in the same situation that he was in. This includes how children are used as well as for what occupations.
Clearly this is a novel based on personal truth and strife that has managed to bring the plights of the middle and lower class to the parlor of higher classes. By doing this, Charles Dickens has managed to create a name that transcends literature into politics, and history. The changes that occurred after his rule of the English language will be forever engrained in English society. When Dickens died in 1870 at the age of 58 his epitaph in Westminster was appropriately positioned stating: "He was a sympathiser to the poor, the suffering, and the oppressed; and by his death, one of England's greatest writers is lost to the world".[9]
Bibliography
Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992
Fisher, Julie & Cotton, Andrew. Learning from the Past: Delivery of water and sanitation services to the poor in nineteenth century Britain. WEDC, 2005, http://www.lboro.ac.uk/well/resources/Publications/Briefing%20Notes/BN%20Learning.htm
London’s Children in the 19th century. The Museum of London, 2003, http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/English/Learning/Learningonline/features/wc/world_city_6.htm
The Charles Dickens Page. 1997. http://charlesdickenspage.com
Guide to Westminster, City Of London Press, leaflet.
[1] The Charles Dickens Page. 1997. http://charlesdickenspage.com
[2] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 114-115
[3] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 329-330
[4] Julie Fisher and Andrew Cotton. Learning from the Past: Delivery of water and sanitation services to the poor in nineteenth century Britain. WEDC, 2005, http://www.lboro.ac.uk/well/resources/Publications/Briefing%20Notes/BN%20Learning.htm
[5] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 199-200
[6] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pg 117
[7] London’s Children in the 19th century. The Museum of London, 2003, http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/English/Learning/Learningonline/features/wc/world_city_6.htm
[8] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pg 16
[9] Guide to Westminster, City Of London Press
Charles Dickens was born in 1812 to John and Elizabeth Dickens. In 1822, after years of living in idyllic conditions, John was transferred to London for work, and it is here that Charles encountered poverty for the first time. Entranced by the busy and dirty streets of London and the conditions people were living in, he was known to skip school in order to ‘discover’ the city. Things turned for the worse though, when John could no longer afford to pay his bills and he sent Charles to work at Warren’s Boot Blacking Factory and even then John Dickens was placed in Debtors prison with the rest of the family. Only Charles seemed to be able to avoid this, and then only to be alone and very poor. At the age of 12 he was now fending for himself on the streets, determined to earn back everything that he had lost. Eventually Charles got work as a legal clerk and from there became a reporter.[1]
His history, like so many others of his day influenced the way he wrote. However, unlike other Victorian authors, Charles had a deeper understanding of the problems facing England’s society at the time having lived through most of the events he wrote about. The issues that he and so many others took onto themselves varied. Everything from labor issues to Parliament reform. They were all about change and how it wasn’t happening fast enough. They were concerned with the plight of the lower classes and that there was not enough being done to help those who had less money and/or were not aristocratic. Writing turned out to be one of the avenues used in order to gain support, or at least inform people on the broader scale on what conditions in certain areas of the country truly were like.
The majority of the readership of novels and newspapers were the upper classes. This was because they were the only ones with the time and money to read, and in some cases also the ones that could read as the rate of literacy at the time was still quite low. Therefore writing turned into an appropriate medium to reach a wide audience.
However, as well as informing people at the time there were a large number of people who critiqued Dickens’ work. They called it unrealistic and Romantic with too much melodrama to be other than it is. This does not mean that the novel fulfilled it’s duty: to entertain and enlighten, but it allowed for people to turn a blind eye and take it as fiction. A great example of this conundrum is Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. It is not a realistic novel, but it incorporates realistic elements, such as health and Sanitation-, penal- and labor issues that Effected England in the 1800s. Therefore, though it is a melodramatic romance, it has a realistic layer underneath it.
Sanitation and health were problems people living in 19th century England faced. In the 1840s a public sanitary reform ensued which resulted in an acts being passed in the late 1840s. Dickens believed in the importance of good sanitation, and mentioned it in most of his novels. After coming to London Oliver quickly finds himself in the rooms of Fagin, which are described: “It was a dirty place. The rooms upstairs had great high wooden chimney-pieces and large doors, with paneled walls and cornices to the celing, which, although they were black with neglect and dust, were ornamented in various ways; from all of which tokens Oliver concluded that a long time ago, before the old Jew was born, it belonged to better people, and had perhaps been quite gay and handsome, dismal and dreary as it looked now.”[2] This is an example of what conditions were like inside homes. However, surprisingly enough, it is not Fagin, or one of the boys that ever gets ill in the novel. Sikes does fall ill, and considering the condition that Fagin lives in, Sikes and Nancy cannot live much better. Sikes also mentions that he has been sick for three weeks. Though we do not know the cause of his illness we can assume that if he were living in more sanitary conditions he might have recovered earlier. Lucky for Oliver, he seems to become unwell after leaving the horrid conditions and going somewhere where sanitation is of higher importance. For instance when Oliver gets sick and is brought to the house of Mr. Brownlow, or that after being shot he is taken in by Mrs. and Miss Maylie. In each time he is brought to an environment that is healthier for him and does not allow for contamination to spread.
The conditions of the streets also give pause. “Crazy wooden galleries common to the backs of half a dozen houses, with holes with which to look upon the slime beneath; windows broken and patched, with poles thrust out on which to dry the linen that is never there; rooms so small, so filthy, so confined, that the air would seem too tainted even for the dirt and squalor which they shelter; wooden chambers thrusting themselves out above the mud, and threatening to fall into it, as some have done; dirt besmeared walls and decaying foundations; every repulsive lineament of poverty, every loathsome indication of filth, rot, and garbage;- all these ornament the banks of folly ditch.”[3] It is of a comedic nature to state here that the mayor of London at the time was not only unaware of the condition of Jacob’s Island (mentioned above), but he also disbelieved its existence. It seems romantic, as if a foreign country, but Jacob’s Island is truly a section of London and did indeed suffer as badly as mentioned. Because of how casually Dickens creates ironical twists to injury, illness, and dirt in the rest of the novel, chapter 50 can be easily looked over as another one of his ironical and fictitious writings. It was only after the publication of Oliver Twist in the 1930s that the Sanitary Act was passed (1866). It was “a response to the failure of previous legislation and allowed action to be taken against local authorities providing inadequate sewer services and water supply. It called for comprehensive sewerage and water connection of all houses, street cleaning and legislated against overcrowding, to be enforced by Sanitary Inspectors.”[4]
The penalty for breaking the law was harsh. Also, there was no difference made between penalties for adults or children, as criminals were considered born into what they were. They also believed that there was little, if not no, way to nurture criminals in such a way that they would be able to resist a life of crime. Because of the way that Dickens handles criminals in the novel it is obvious to see that he does not believe in the theories that previously dominated society. He seems to twist humor into most, if not all sections of the novel pertaining to crime, penalties, prison, or hanging. The police officers, magistrates, and constables are caricatures and are usually made fun of in some way or another. For example, when Oliver lays injured in the home of Miss Maylie and the constables arrive to arrest him, the doctor keeps our hero from being arrested. However, the way this is done makes fools of the constables without them realizing it and then when they look at him oddly, he dares them to disagree with him.[5]
Dickens’ characters make light of what could be waiting for them throughout the novel. Hanging for instance is taken as much in humor as a warning. “’He’ll come to be scragged won’t he?’ ‘I don’t know what that means,’ replied Oliver. ‘Something in this way, old feller,’ said Charley. As he said it, Master Bates caught up an end of his neckerchief, and holding it erect in the air, dropped his head on his shoulder, and jerked a curious sound through his teeth; thereby indicating, by a lively pantomimic representation, that scragging and hanging were one and the same thing.”[6] This is another prime example why this novel is a romance. Even though the realistic elements are intertwined, the morbidity of the novel corresponds more to a romance than it does to a realistic text. Even the accidental hanging of Sikes at the end of the novel plays into this, as it seems very unrealistic that he could accidentally hang himself, however, Fagin’s real ending comes to the reader much more possible. This is also why the novel first discusses Fagin and only then turns to Sikes. By having the accidental hanging at the end of the novel, the author allows for the reader to put down the book with a feeling of stepping back towards reality. If the novel had ended with Fagin, the reader would have been more ready to believe that the actions taking place were of a more nonfiction nature.
The conditions that people had to work in were very bad as well. Dickens was a strong supporter of labor reform, especially those that pertained to children. Oliver’s life is typical of an orphan of his age. Orphans from poor families were sent to work houses and had to labor at a very young age. Only orphans from rich families could be put in orphanages. One of the most common occupations for children was with machinery, where they could replace or fix things that were really small. Also coal mining was often where poor children were sent to work. The conditions were awful and incredibly dangerous. A well documented case is that of “The young girls who worked in the match factories run by Bryant and May endured long hours and poor pay. They worked with dangerous materials such as phosphorous that could cause a disease known as 'phossy jaw' that rotted their lower jaw.”[7] For children in the country, like Oliver, things happened a little differently. People with various occupations were able to buy an orphan out of the poorhouse in order to apprentice. Children were not able to choose their apprenticeships, but rather were placed somewhere, which is unusual for Oliver. At first, Oliver is able to choose not to go with Mr. Limbkins who has a group of child chimney sweeps that he orders. “’It’s a nasty trade,’ said Mr. Limbkins, when Gamfield had again stated his wish. ‘Young boys have been smothered in chimneys before now,’ said another gentleman. ‘That’s acause they damped the straw afore they lit it in the chimbley to make ‘em come down agin,’ said Gamfield; ‘that’s all smoke, and no blase; vereas smoke aint o’ no use at all in makin’ a boy come down, for it only sinds him to sleep, and that’s wot he likes. Boys is wery obstinant, and wery lazy, gen’lemen and there ‘s nothink like a good hot blaze to make ‘em come down vith a run. It’s human, too, gen’lemen, acause, even if they’ve stuck in the chimbley, roasting their feet makes ‘em struggle to hextricate theirselves.’”[8] Here as the characters are making light of roasting feet and hextricating boys, Dickens is showing that there is little to no regard for the plight of child labor. It wasn’t until 1899 that all children had the option of going to school until the age of 12.
At the undertaker’s, though, Oliver seems to have it very well. He has a somewhat decent place to sleep, he gets meals- even though they are little more than scraps they are still more than he had previous to his employment there. Also the owner of the business treated him fairly, allowing him to go to things that he would otherwise take no one to. Therefore it can be construed that Oliver’s leaving there as seeing ‘a gift-horse in the mouth.’ It seems unrealistic that after achieving something that seems somewhat better than Oliver had before, he would choose to run away after a skirmish with Mr. Claypole, and go to London, where he has no friends, family, or connections. Even what seems like his only friend, Dick, does nothing but wish him well as he himself prepares for his death (a death that does not even happen in the novel, considering that he returns later, wanting to write a letter to Oliver giving his love.)
Realism plays a factor in this novel, however, does not take up enough of it in order to make it a realistic novel. Like the Route-Goldberg effect, one thing seems to happen after the next so rapidly, that the novel gives a romantic feel to it. The majority of the characters are two-dimensional and are caricatures, not to mention that the reader’s ability to distance him- or herself from the plot allows for the notion of a foreign place to be the backdrop. That is to say, it is as if one can still think that the events are happening elsewhere and not in London, because of the irony and unrealistic events that take place. None the less, there are a variety of elements that are based in truth. These elements predominantly surround the issues of Health and Sanitation, Penal law, and Labor. Dickens clearly gives his opinion within each issue of reform and cleverly hides information within entertaining tales. Each chapter deals with at least one of the three issues and each character flirts with them as well.
When it comes to Health, one sees how bad the conditions of the time really are. He places people live and their ability to recover from illness. Also, one sees how certain areas of London are so bad that they are almost detrimental to live in. Change in the Penal system was important to Dickens as seen in his constant bringing up of it. Also the way that Fagin is treated towards the end of the novel. However, more than just the way in which things are done have to be changed, as Dickens asks people to rethink their position on nature and nurture when it comes to criminals. Finally, Labor laws needed to be reevaluated. Because of Dickens’ experience with these laws he felt that they would have to be altered so that others would not be put in the same situation that he was in. This includes how children are used as well as for what occupations.
Clearly this is a novel based on personal truth and strife that has managed to bring the plights of the middle and lower class to the parlor of higher classes. By doing this, Charles Dickens has managed to create a name that transcends literature into politics, and history. The changes that occurred after his rule of the English language will be forever engrained in English society. When Dickens died in 1870 at the age of 58 his epitaph in Westminster was appropriately positioned stating: "He was a sympathiser to the poor, the suffering, and the oppressed; and by his death, one of England's greatest writers is lost to the world".[9]
Bibliography
Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992
Fisher, Julie & Cotton, Andrew. Learning from the Past: Delivery of water and sanitation services to the poor in nineteenth century Britain. WEDC, 2005, http://www.lboro.ac.uk/well/resources/Publications/Briefing%20Notes/BN%20Learning.htm
London’s Children in the 19th century. The Museum of London, 2003, http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/English/Learning/Learningonline/features/wc/world_city_6.htm
The Charles Dickens Page. 1997. http://charlesdickenspage.com
Guide to Westminster, City Of London Press, leaflet.
[1] The Charles Dickens Page. 1997. http://charlesdickenspage.com
[2] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 114-115
[3] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 329-330
[4] Julie Fisher and Andrew Cotton. Learning from the Past: Delivery of water and sanitation services to the poor in nineteenth century Britain. WEDC, 2005, http://www.lboro.ac.uk/well/resources/Publications/Briefing%20Notes/BN%20Learning.htm
[5] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pgs 199-200
[6] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pg 117
[7] London’s Children in the 19th century. The Museum of London, 2003, http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/English/Learning/Learningonline/features/wc/world_city_6.htm
[8] Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. Wordsworth Editions Limited, 1992, pg 16
[9] Guide to Westminster, City Of London Press
The Abominable Train
The Abominable Train
By Margriet Hesseling and Marloes Konterman
There once was a train known for it’s excellence in keeping time. Unlike the other ICE trains that ran in that day and age, this train had showed up on time, and repeatedly did so. In fact, it had never been late to an appointment. It was actually so accurate that it was known by the name: MEL. Most Efficient Locomotive. It was so efficient, that while being on time, it also managed to be comfortable, safe, carry a maximum capacity, and not smell as bad as the others. It had a special air filter built in that offered passengers the scent of roses.
Unfortunately, its competitor, Other Train, as it was called, had an even more special quality to it. It could read minds and offer people whatever food they wanted in at any point in time. Rice? Sure! Macaroni and Cheese? They had it! Boerenkool with potatoes, sausage, onions, extra extra extra crispy bacon, and of course hamburger meat charred to the bone, because Josh Lyman loved it that way. MEL could not compete with that.
One evening, at quarter past seven, as MEL was just passing the Ajax Stadium also known as the Arena or flying saucer- not to mention the home of both Ajax and the GoAhead Eagles- two nitwitted dumb twenty-something year olds sat and thought about how to improve MEL in order to once again beat it’s competition Other Train. They hadn’t gotten many ideas yet, in fact none-at-all. It so happened, that they couldn’t seem to even form a coherent thought as one of them was lacking sleep and the other thought she might be high on life and probably still basking in the win of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
All of a sudden though, the blond girl had an idea. Which was of course very extraordinary seeing that she was blond (and we all know what they say about blonds). The idea though, was quite spectacular. So spectacular if truth be told that the brunette flopped back into the chair, this was in a reclining position, in surprise and awe. The idea was to look around the train and interview customers, because the customer knows best and is king. So, the brunette made an excel sheet with some questions. It looked much like this:
Wat du jo like about this train?
Wat du jo not like about this train?
Wat wood jo like 2 chang?
Now they wanted to print, but they had no printer. So, they decided to just go around asking the questions. They were too stupid to even grasp the concept of writing the questions down on a piece of paper and distribute them that way, or even keep it as a queue card or cheat sheet.
The problem was that when they finally got around to asking people the questions, they seemed to forget what they were going to ask. Also, the answers kept slipping their minds. Thus, the questionnaire was useless.
Then they had a revelation! They kept forgetting. Perhaps the trick to it was to have passengers forget what they did on the train, therefore never realizing that the train wasn’t better than another. To justify this kind of brainwashing they argued that the passengers would enter the train and no time would pass with boredom when they got off.
They’d accidentally stumbled on the idea of cryogenically freezing passengers without knowing it, and won the Nobel Prize for physics that same year. Realizing that they weren’t as stupid as they thought they ran for Prime Minister and Secretary General of the UN and won, causing mass hysteria and a global economic crisis that would last into the next ice age. Luckily they had their cryogenic freezing techniques and were able to get away and frozen before the mass mobs attacked and killed them both.
Epilogue
The blond was released from freezing too early and instead of getting stupider as was hypothesized to, landed up getting one of the highest IQs ever recorded and spent the rest of her day in a mental facility trying to solve the problem of the circle.
The brunette woke up on time, and realized in the year 2591 that men had become dogs and women had become kangaroos and that there was no baseball, puzzles and ice hockey anymore and in a fit of depression learned to groom cats and mice properly.
Other Train was pulled out of commission a year after its creation, when it was discovered that the food created was being made out of a new type of polymer highly toxic for people.
And as for MEL, MEL was replaced by the MEL 2200, which included the cryogenic freezing as an option. It remained a big hit though due to the rose scented air.
END
By Margriet Hesseling and Marloes Konterman
There once was a train known for it’s excellence in keeping time. Unlike the other ICE trains that ran in that day and age, this train had showed up on time, and repeatedly did so. In fact, it had never been late to an appointment. It was actually so accurate that it was known by the name: MEL. Most Efficient Locomotive. It was so efficient, that while being on time, it also managed to be comfortable, safe, carry a maximum capacity, and not smell as bad as the others. It had a special air filter built in that offered passengers the scent of roses.
Unfortunately, its competitor, Other Train, as it was called, had an even more special quality to it. It could read minds and offer people whatever food they wanted in at any point in time. Rice? Sure! Macaroni and Cheese? They had it! Boerenkool with potatoes, sausage, onions, extra extra extra crispy bacon, and of course hamburger meat charred to the bone, because Josh Lyman loved it that way. MEL could not compete with that.
One evening, at quarter past seven, as MEL was just passing the Ajax Stadium also known as the Arena or flying saucer- not to mention the home of both Ajax and the GoAhead Eagles- two nitwitted dumb twenty-something year olds sat and thought about how to improve MEL in order to once again beat it’s competition Other Train. They hadn’t gotten many ideas yet, in fact none-at-all. It so happened, that they couldn’t seem to even form a coherent thought as one of them was lacking sleep and the other thought she might be high on life and probably still basking in the win of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
All of a sudden though, the blond girl had an idea. Which was of course very extraordinary seeing that she was blond (and we all know what they say about blonds). The idea though, was quite spectacular. So spectacular if truth be told that the brunette flopped back into the chair, this was in a reclining position, in surprise and awe. The idea was to look around the train and interview customers, because the customer knows best and is king. So, the brunette made an excel sheet with some questions. It looked much like this:
Wat du jo like about this train?
Wat du jo not like about this train?
Wat wood jo like 2 chang?
Now they wanted to print, but they had no printer. So, they decided to just go around asking the questions. They were too stupid to even grasp the concept of writing the questions down on a piece of paper and distribute them that way, or even keep it as a queue card or cheat sheet.
The problem was that when they finally got around to asking people the questions, they seemed to forget what they were going to ask. Also, the answers kept slipping their minds. Thus, the questionnaire was useless.
Then they had a revelation! They kept forgetting. Perhaps the trick to it was to have passengers forget what they did on the train, therefore never realizing that the train wasn’t better than another. To justify this kind of brainwashing they argued that the passengers would enter the train and no time would pass with boredom when they got off.
They’d accidentally stumbled on the idea of cryogenically freezing passengers without knowing it, and won the Nobel Prize for physics that same year. Realizing that they weren’t as stupid as they thought they ran for Prime Minister and Secretary General of the UN and won, causing mass hysteria and a global economic crisis that would last into the next ice age. Luckily they had their cryogenic freezing techniques and were able to get away and frozen before the mass mobs attacked and killed them both.
Epilogue
The blond was released from freezing too early and instead of getting stupider as was hypothesized to, landed up getting one of the highest IQs ever recorded and spent the rest of her day in a mental facility trying to solve the problem of the circle.
The brunette woke up on time, and realized in the year 2591 that men had become dogs and women had become kangaroos and that there was no baseball, puzzles and ice hockey anymore and in a fit of depression learned to groom cats and mice properly.
Other Train was pulled out of commission a year after its creation, when it was discovered that the food created was being made out of a new type of polymer highly toxic for people.
And as for MEL, MEL was replaced by the MEL 2200, which included the cryogenic freezing as an option. It remained a big hit though due to the rose scented air.
END
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