Do you know, I shed I tear when I listen to this song...
Desperado... Why don't you come to your senses... You've been out riding fences for so long now... Oh you're a hard one... I know that you've got your reasons... These things that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow
don't you draw the quewen of diamonds, boy... she'll beat you if she's able... you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet... Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid apon your table... but you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado... Oh, you aint getting any younger... the pain and the hunger, they're driving you home... And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talking... Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Don't you think it cold in the wintertime... the sky wants snow and the sun wants shine... it's hard to tell the nighttime from the day... you're loosing all your highs and lows ain't it funny how the feeling goes away
Desperado... why don't you come to your senses come down from your fences... open the gate... it may be raining, but there's a rainbow abover you... you better let somebody love you... let somebody love you... before it's too late.
Eagles (Hell freezes over)
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
Monday, May 13, 2002
A Beautiful Mind: Ramblings of Genius
Now, I know that a lot of people thought that it was a bad movie, but in my opinion it's one of the best I have seen. The very idea that you are led by dilusions and that they feed into your psychosis scares me.
When I was in middle school, a fiend and I used to play around pretending that we had imaginary friends. We would scare the hell out of people in class saying: "No! Don't sit there! You'll sit on Marvin!" They would move away looking weirdly at us, and we would laugh, or they would laugh with us and sit down, or they would just sit and ignore us, while we laughed. Any of these ways proved humorful. But watching "A Beautiful Mind" makes me feel... sad I guess. Not for John Nash, but for myself and my own immaturity.
As I grew older my idols have always been tended to the insane (With the exception of my grandmother). Einstein, Nash, and Darwin are just some of the geninouses that have changed the way that we think, interact, and understand. Einstein's theory or relativity took years after his death to be accepted, as was Darwin's theory of evolution (that we decended form monkies). They were thought of as not only insane, but they're minds full of nothingness and ludacracy. But how much does it take to be a genius? How much hatred, unaccepted fears, and desires must me face to overcome the barriers of society to be accepted? Apparently all the way.
John Nash was and is one of the most brilliant men alive today or has been in my opinion. His theory of Equalibrium has reshaped Economies all over the world not to mention allowed for break-throughs in the fields of biology, chemistry and Mathematics. But his price for his genius was schizophrenia.
They say that we cannot all possess everything, that there is some sort of balance. Either you're good in something and less good in something, or like the majority of us, there is some sort of balance. Nash ate slept, thought, and loved mathematics, and it was this driving force to prove himself to the world that caused him to become paraniod, over-achieving, and crazy. Up until the moment that he met his wife Alecia. She was his counter-balance. Her social and liveliness made up for his inability to preform socially infront of others, and it was with her love that he survived. Survived is perhaps the wrong word to use, but I have no other means of saying what I think he came out of.
The physical and metaphysical suffering he went through did nothing more than disturb him all the more, up to the point that his wife betryaed him and had a psychiatrist take her husband by force. Then it was not his mind that poisoned his mathematical rationalization. No, it was the medicine he was being fed. All his life all he wanted to do was Mathematics, but how do you do that when the processing side of your brain is being shutdown by medication, that is not only killing you mentally but also spiritually? Instead Nash decided to do it himself. Like a mathematics problem he solved the issue. He mearly stopped reacting to his mind's visions. New faces were questioned, and ones he knew weren't there were ignored.
But as I began, I asked how far will you have to go to be an accepted genius, and all the way is correct. Nash eventually got the Nobel Prize in 1997. If that isn't overcoming barriers, then I don't know what is. Is there a difference between a genius and being smart? Definately. Smart people make leaps, and do things that change the world on a daily basis. Genius's only come once in a while. They create not only leaps, but those leaps come at prices. They are the men and women who dedicate themselves to proving their theories no matter what the cost: their reputation, their families, or event their mind.
As I mentioned earlier, we feed our dreems, as we feed a child. But as we feed that child so do we feed lust, love, and dilusions making one wonder what eveything is worth, how lucky we are, and if our appitites are too big, or too small.
Scully: You're the genius, Mulder, I'm just a smart person tagging along and trying to keep up.
Mulder: You're not smart, Scully, you're ingenius, you keep my genius mind from hitting what all the others did: insanity. You make me a whole person, and as you owe me nothing, I owe you the world and more. I'll be indebted to you for the rest of my days.
When I was in middle school, a fiend and I used to play around pretending that we had imaginary friends. We would scare the hell out of people in class saying: "No! Don't sit there! You'll sit on Marvin!" They would move away looking weirdly at us, and we would laugh, or they would laugh with us and sit down, or they would just sit and ignore us, while we laughed. Any of these ways proved humorful. But watching "A Beautiful Mind" makes me feel... sad I guess. Not for John Nash, but for myself and my own immaturity.
As I grew older my idols have always been tended to the insane (With the exception of my grandmother). Einstein, Nash, and Darwin are just some of the geninouses that have changed the way that we think, interact, and understand. Einstein's theory or relativity took years after his death to be accepted, as was Darwin's theory of evolution (that we decended form monkies). They were thought of as not only insane, but they're minds full of nothingness and ludacracy. But how much does it take to be a genius? How much hatred, unaccepted fears, and desires must me face to overcome the barriers of society to be accepted? Apparently all the way.
John Nash was and is one of the most brilliant men alive today or has been in my opinion. His theory of Equalibrium has reshaped Economies all over the world not to mention allowed for break-throughs in the fields of biology, chemistry and Mathematics. But his price for his genius was schizophrenia.
They say that we cannot all possess everything, that there is some sort of balance. Either you're good in something and less good in something, or like the majority of us, there is some sort of balance. Nash ate slept, thought, and loved mathematics, and it was this driving force to prove himself to the world that caused him to become paraniod, over-achieving, and crazy. Up until the moment that he met his wife Alecia. She was his counter-balance. Her social and liveliness made up for his inability to preform socially infront of others, and it was with her love that he survived. Survived is perhaps the wrong word to use, but I have no other means of saying what I think he came out of.
The physical and metaphysical suffering he went through did nothing more than disturb him all the more, up to the point that his wife betryaed him and had a psychiatrist take her husband by force. Then it was not his mind that poisoned his mathematical rationalization. No, it was the medicine he was being fed. All his life all he wanted to do was Mathematics, but how do you do that when the processing side of your brain is being shutdown by medication, that is not only killing you mentally but also spiritually? Instead Nash decided to do it himself. Like a mathematics problem he solved the issue. He mearly stopped reacting to his mind's visions. New faces were questioned, and ones he knew weren't there were ignored.
But as I began, I asked how far will you have to go to be an accepted genius, and all the way is correct. Nash eventually got the Nobel Prize in 1997. If that isn't overcoming barriers, then I don't know what is. Is there a difference between a genius and being smart? Definately. Smart people make leaps, and do things that change the world on a daily basis. Genius's only come once in a while. They create not only leaps, but those leaps come at prices. They are the men and women who dedicate themselves to proving their theories no matter what the cost: their reputation, their families, or event their mind.
As I mentioned earlier, we feed our dreems, as we feed a child. But as we feed that child so do we feed lust, love, and dilusions making one wonder what eveything is worth, how lucky we are, and if our appitites are too big, or too small.
Scully: You're the genius, Mulder, I'm just a smart person tagging along and trying to keep up.
Mulder: You're not smart, Scully, you're ingenius, you keep my genius mind from hitting what all the others did: insanity. You make me a whole person, and as you owe me nothing, I owe you the world and more. I'll be indebted to you for the rest of my days.
Thursday, May 02, 2002
Episode 3
Here goes... For episode 2 look at Michelle's entry. :D
So, I've lost almost all table manners. Because my breakfast usually consits of a cup of coffee from the staff room, and a bagel that my partner's wife sends for me each morning, there isn't really any table manners to keep up. I guess that's why during breakfast with Michelle (Chris already left, he had an appointment with a patient who will be kept annonymous for the moment) I spent my time cleaning my gun. My newest hobby ever since I joined the force.
After breakfast I decided to go to town. I offered to take Michelle along, but she said that now that she had that book I'd brought her, she might as well do something productive.
Productive my ass.. by the end of the day she had done nothing but lounge around... But you can get that from her.
Town was as usual.. there was little to do... I wonder where all the fishermen dudes are?! I head for Christine's house which looks like a smurf hut. The garden outside is covered in toys from the four children she somehow pumped out. Her husband, Nick, who's become the head of the shrimp industry here is standing on the doorstep trying to get the two oldest children out the door, while guessing the wind pattern. I check that my gun is safely nestled in its holder with the safethy on, and I greet all the kids.
I say bye to Nick and I go inside trying to find Christine, who is meanwhile busy changing the diper of her youngest: Alfred? Yes... Alfred!
Alf, as I call him is making all kinds of giggly noises as the two of us try and get him changed. Christine tells me of all the problems they've been having lately with the family and the Shrimp. Apparently Nick's Assistant June was in an automobile accident, when she was hit by a truck. She's uncontious. She's been in a coma for what seems like months.
For lunch we decide to head to the pub and grab some food. Alecia makes some of the best grilled-cheese sandwiches I've ever had, and as I result I scarf about 4! The Ale is good too. I ask Alecia to pack me a bunch of sauages and walk Christine back home. I pick up my car and head for Deborah's office. Daniel isn't there, so I walk on through. She's got an associate whom I have never met before and I get him out the door before he realises what hit him, and Deb and I alugh as we spend the rest of the afternoon chatting about what's going on in the big city, and how her sister's doing... Liz just happens to live in my building.
Chris called me at about three and asked me if I could pick him up. Apparently Ida (who's his secretary) asked if she could borrow the car to go and pick her boyfriend up. (He was coming in from the city this evening.)
Anyway, I left Deb's office and I walked down the street to Chris's office.
(Here's a little discribtion of Chris's place, Michelle and I will figure it out properly some other time)
The sterile walls are the first things that strike me. I don't understand why psychologists always have sterile walls. They make me uncomfortable. I guess that's because of all the times I've been in the hospital to begin with. I always seem to get shot... Ask Michelle. She's the one that constantly has to bail me out! Anyway... I was talking about the walls... There are a couple of chairs in the waitingroom. Ida's already left. Her stuff is gone and her work place in maticulously clean. Such a neat-nick! I wait until his last patient comes out... Daniel! Wow... I never expected that... or did I? We exchange a couple words, but he looks like he really wants to get away from me, so I let him leave.
I walk into Chris's office to find him on the phone... With Michelle.. who else? And I browse around the books he has on his wall. "Criminological Theories" by Acker... Good book.. I have one of those too. "Psychological atrocities." Another odd book that looks vaguely familiar... ANd then the one I gave him a couple years ago: "Russian Military Psychology." I miss that book. I read it twice before I forked it over to him.
When he's finally finished with the call I look up at him and Smile. He tells me that we're in charge of dinner, and I inform him that I already have sausages! Woopdiie dooo! A few moments later we lock the place up and we get out locking the door behind us.
That night after dinner we spent our time playing scrabble... I hate playing with Nerds like Chris and Michelle... I wonder when they even find time to memorise the dictionary! After loosing by what seems like 100 points. Then I head to bed, spent by another day.
So, I've lost almost all table manners. Because my breakfast usually consits of a cup of coffee from the staff room, and a bagel that my partner's wife sends for me each morning, there isn't really any table manners to keep up. I guess that's why during breakfast with Michelle (Chris already left, he had an appointment with a patient who will be kept annonymous for the moment) I spent my time cleaning my gun. My newest hobby ever since I joined the force.
After breakfast I decided to go to town. I offered to take Michelle along, but she said that now that she had that book I'd brought her, she might as well do something productive.
Productive my ass.. by the end of the day she had done nothing but lounge around... But you can get that from her.
Town was as usual.. there was little to do... I wonder where all the fishermen dudes are?! I head for Christine's house which looks like a smurf hut. The garden outside is covered in toys from the four children she somehow pumped out. Her husband, Nick, who's become the head of the shrimp industry here is standing on the doorstep trying to get the two oldest children out the door, while guessing the wind pattern. I check that my gun is safely nestled in its holder with the safethy on, and I greet all the kids.
I say bye to Nick and I go inside trying to find Christine, who is meanwhile busy changing the diper of her youngest: Alfred? Yes... Alfred!
Alf, as I call him is making all kinds of giggly noises as the two of us try and get him changed. Christine tells me of all the problems they've been having lately with the family and the Shrimp. Apparently Nick's Assistant June was in an automobile accident, when she was hit by a truck. She's uncontious. She's been in a coma for what seems like months.
For lunch we decide to head to the pub and grab some food. Alecia makes some of the best grilled-cheese sandwiches I've ever had, and as I result I scarf about 4! The Ale is good too. I ask Alecia to pack me a bunch of sauages and walk Christine back home. I pick up my car and head for Deborah's office. Daniel isn't there, so I walk on through. She's got an associate whom I have never met before and I get him out the door before he realises what hit him, and Deb and I alugh as we spend the rest of the afternoon chatting about what's going on in the big city, and how her sister's doing... Liz just happens to live in my building.
Chris called me at about three and asked me if I could pick him up. Apparently Ida (who's his secretary) asked if she could borrow the car to go and pick her boyfriend up. (He was coming in from the city this evening.)
Anyway, I left Deb's office and I walked down the street to Chris's office.
(Here's a little discribtion of Chris's place, Michelle and I will figure it out properly some other time)
The sterile walls are the first things that strike me. I don't understand why psychologists always have sterile walls. They make me uncomfortable. I guess that's because of all the times I've been in the hospital to begin with. I always seem to get shot... Ask Michelle. She's the one that constantly has to bail me out! Anyway... I was talking about the walls... There are a couple of chairs in the waitingroom. Ida's already left. Her stuff is gone and her work place in maticulously clean. Such a neat-nick! I wait until his last patient comes out... Daniel! Wow... I never expected that... or did I? We exchange a couple words, but he looks like he really wants to get away from me, so I let him leave.
I walk into Chris's office to find him on the phone... With Michelle.. who else? And I browse around the books he has on his wall. "Criminological Theories" by Acker... Good book.. I have one of those too. "Psychological atrocities." Another odd book that looks vaguely familiar... ANd then the one I gave him a couple years ago: "Russian Military Psychology." I miss that book. I read it twice before I forked it over to him.
When he's finally finished with the call I look up at him and Smile. He tells me that we're in charge of dinner, and I inform him that I already have sausages! Woopdiie dooo! A few moments later we lock the place up and we get out locking the door behind us.
That night after dinner we spent our time playing scrabble... I hate playing with Nerds like Chris and Michelle... I wonder when they even find time to memorise the dictionary! After loosing by what seems like 100 points. Then I head to bed, spent by another day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)